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Family Therapy In San Diego- Wonderfulness Interviews

At SoCal Narrative Therapy, our family therapy is inspired by the work of David Epston, co-founder of narrative therapy and creator of wonderfulness interviews. These conversations invite parents to take the role of witnesses—to notice, name, and richly describe the talents, skills, and virtues they see alive in their child.

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Rather than starting with what has gone wrong, we begin with what is already strong. When parents witness these capacities and children hear them spoken back, families discover new ways to face problems together.

Family therapy in San Diego with parents witnessing their child’s virtues through wonderfulness interviews.

  • We believe that the challenges that children face are best met when the family joins in on the adventure.
     

  • We believe that typical approaches to addressing children's problems in therapy that require parents to give an exhaustive list of their failings often leave children and parents feeling like failures and puts them in a diminished position to meet their problems head on.
     

  • We believe that children have a rich store of talents and virtues that can be drawn upon to bring to bear against their problems and challenges of living.
     

  • We believe that when children's unique virtues are richly storied it can serve as a significant source of inspiration for all involved.
     

  • We believe that parents also have unique talents, virtues, and relational capacities that are often overlooked in typical problem-focused approaches to therapy.
     

  • We believe that children and parents should leave therapy feeling like agents in their own lives with an increased capacity to intervene on their own behalf and according to their own moral purposes for living.

Meeting Virtues Before Problems

What Is a Wonderfulness Interview?

A wonderfulness interview creates a space where children are seen through the loving eyes of their parents. Instead of focusing on deficits, we ask parents to recall and retell moments when their child’s courage, kindness, creativity, perseverance, or humor showed itself.

  • “Can you tell me about a time your son’s persistence surprised you?”

  • “What do you most admire about the way your daughter befriends others?”

  • “How did you see your child’s courage shine through in that moment?”

 

As parents share these stories, the child listens. Over time, they begin to see themselves through these accounts—as capable, resourceful, and loved.

Why Wonderfulness Matters

  • Children borrow strength from their stories. When a child hears their parent describe their perseverance or compassion, it becomes a resource they can call on later.

  • Problems lose some of their grip. If anxiety, anger, or despair show up, a child has access to a bank of remembered virtues that can stand against the problem.

  • Parents rediscover hope. Speaking about their child’s wonderfulness helps parents reconnect with what they cherish most, even in difficult times.

How We Use Wonderfulness Interviews in Family Therapy

  • Gathering stories of wonderfulness: Parents are gently guided to recall specific events that show their child’s best qualities in action.

  • Creating a record: These stories may be written into a wonderfulness dossier that families can keep and return to when challenges arise.

  • Bringing virtues to bear on problems: Once children hear their talents named, they are invited to use those very strengths when the problem next appears.

A Different Kind of Family Conversation

  • Families often leave these sessions surprised by the power of spoken recognition. Children walk out taller, carrying a clearer sense of who they are becoming. Parents leave with renewed hope and pride, having seen their child through new eyes.

Ready to Begin?

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